Alchemy of Existence

Traveling a path well traveled… rugged, dusty and graveled;

Embedded with scattered footprints of lost souls;

of humans, gods, demons and trolls.

Filled with stench of slaved weak minds, and agonized cry of charred flesh;

dragged bodies of socially ripped wounds and morally bloody gash…

My feet trembles and my body quivers,

at the thought of walking the same path…

scared I am to my soul and in my heart,

to withstand the fate of such a destiny’s wrath.

The trail blaze of this mobby parasite world;

engulfed in fear of unseen and unanswering god.

Bound by rituals of inhuman and unethical virtues,

burdened with curse of self conscience and regretful dues.

Struggling to breath in a world so melancholic;

strangled by the giant vortex of serpentine desires,

Volatile are the instincts of being human here;

where truth is put to the socially tort and demonic pyres.

Questioning my existence is a fair game now;

Do I break free or to anarchy of man-made Gods shall I bow.

Following an endless road of stinging desires,

Curling, churning, twisting and squeezing immoral binding tiers;

I crumble back to the dust with every struggling step I take,

My destiny is all that truth lies in… but here every truth itself is at stake.

My existence keeps asking me, is it all that I have, is that all I have got?

And I keep replying,  “No, I will keep fighting because …

this is the only battle I know, this the only battle that I have ever fought.”

Alchemy of Existence.

Return to Innocence

Like the first drop of rain, that reaches the dry heart of earth and spreads of feeling of joy… so are your memories.

The silent song of wind,

that rushes through my heart:

it recalls my mind,

of someone’s unfinished art.

An art that we both had made,

with so much of love and care…

But forget to put it some shade,

of the lifelong bond we both share.

Today when I sit infront of this picture and think of you…Dancing on the breath of a flute your memories slither into my soul, dragging with it the moments of summer nights and flaming winters we spent in eachother’s arms.

Alas today I walk all alone,

through shattered dreams of me and you;

The vines of despair has overgrown,

but still all’s the same, nothing new.

Now it’s only me who misses something for true…

You are not there today, where once I had left you.

Now where shall I find you, where shall I call for you… I am all tired clawing through my grave of dreams. But still I keep digging through the tombstone in hope of finding you through the auratic gleam.

Your beauty, your alluring eyes,

And serenity of your spell binding look;

Somewhere in my heart it lies,

Like those bold words on a lonely book.

You are not with me, a fragment of my enchanted soul…

Wherever you be, you are my only and only goal.

You may now have a world, that’s all different and new;

But please never forget this heart, bcoz it will always miss you.

Wrapped around me, you will always exist in my screaming silence…

If one day you hear my reckoning voice, please return to me…

“Return to innocence.”

Whisper of the winds

Bristle swivels of wind curled through his hair, trail blazing out behind him. He loved it when the wind whispered to him like this. And an eternal smile stretched across his face. Anyone who knew him, they knew it was just the beginning for him.

He pushed hard on the throttle and the bike zoomed away. One more click of the gear, and the bike was flying now. He could feel the engine breathing hard humming on it’s own rhythm, his bike vibrating below him, the wind rushing out, and the images around him blurring away... he loved the feeling. He called it “Adrenaline Love”. And this feeling brought with it memories of his “Adrenaline”…his Love.

It was on one such summer evening that he had made his first “Adrenaline Love”. He was overjoyed, as his fate had blessed him with his long awaited dream. They had managed to sneak out from their parents that evening and were on a long drive. A dream that both had been unspokenly fantasying for long deep within their hearts. She sitted glued to him, hugging him tight and her eyes closed. It’s not that she was afraid of his fast biking; in fact she loved when he made her fly on his own pair of wings. She smiled and hugged him even tighter placing her head on his back. Somewhere amongst that fast rustling wind, she could still feel his heart beat. It was a sound which she could recognize anywhere on earth… the only sound which called her name each time it bet. She gently lifted her head and planted a kiss on his shoulder. Suddenly she felt the bike slowing down. She opened her eyes, and found him peering back on her. His icy glance was piercing through her eyes…no, through her soul. He stopped the bike. So did the girl’s heart beat. “Did he get angry?”, whispered her thoughts. She felt guilty for spoiling such a moment. He stepped down, came close to her. Just a few inches from her he stood, still peering deep into her beautiful eyes. She could feel his hot breath on her face, she could smell his exotic fragrance… He came close, his lips hovering over her’s. He lifted her face a little and a whisper escaped through his lips “I love you”…. And their lips met.

It’s years past that summer evening… but still those moments linger fresh on his mind. As lost he was in his thoughts, he did not realize the speeding vehicle approaching him… a sudden surge of light blinded his eyes. His reflex put his fingers tight on his brakes but he … he just smiled his ever eternal smile. And at the very moment those three words whispered back at him. May be someone somewhere on earth was answering him.

But it was all black now… and for him now they were just a “whisper of the winds”.

Voices

Just wordless thoughts of a silent soul...
A soul that lies beneath this flesh n blood And far beyond this cry of mobby world.

Sometimes just a mumble, sometimes just a cry…

Sometimes just a brief murmur of relief and sigh.

Sometimes like fire running wild through ones blood,

Sometimes just a tumble around the memory’s flood.

Voices… those voices.

Growing loud with the more silence we create,

Fading out with the dying of our dreams ornate…

Shattering out when the water fills the eyes,

desperate and baffling with our wishes’ demise.

Silent and cuddled up they stay… when we are tired and fast asleep,

But jump back to life… when we stray down into the nightmare's keep.

Voices… these voices.

Always a faithful company to a lonely soul,

Forever a witness to our emotions untold…

Sometimes just so silent, feels like disappeared altogether

Sometimes a shadow of you, a part you like on one other.

Voices… those voices.

Wild and mad, keeps blowing you apart…

Caring and loving for a wounded heart.

So unreal and calm like the winter mist…

Sometimes you doubt if they really exist.

Voices…. those voices.

Voices… those voices. Even I have them…

I have voices in my head... they come to me, they understand, they talk to me.

Voices…

Forever Yours

The memories of last night still strong and your fragrance still in my breath, i wake up to a greeting morning sun. But yesterday night was just a fragment of my past... nothing more, nothing less. Just like you ... just a Dream.

All i know is u my Angel,
all i see is through your dreamy eyes...
all i feel is u my Angel,
all through my lonely smile and heartly sighs.

I have been a slave to your love,
a priest to thy temple of divinity,
but still starve for that one smile,
one smile, wish i could keep for eternity.

Without you, Existence is just being alive,
nothing it means to me without your being.
Words are just words just as they are, never feels like song...
a song that your words very sweetly sing.

Mi amor ... sin ti no soy yo más.
My love... without you i never am me anymore.

This heart loudly cries and bleeds,
shattered dreams and hurting tears.
May you deny or still believe,
That this heart is still and only... Forever Yours.

Suyos para siempre
Forever yours

Carvings of the past

The smell of burning flesh filled my lungs, suffocating me, chocking me each time I breathed. The agonizing pain drilling through me with every passing second. A heavy sigh escaped my lips when i realized that the pain was far too severe for my body to withstand. Finally, a drop of tear ran down my eyes, as if saying "it's enough... quit it.". Still i stood motionless in a dark room... and my body burning to ashes.

I wondered, why was i doing this to myself!!!

But no answer followed.

The dark room was lit up with flame that had engulfed half my body.The flames caught up to my face as the fire grew intense. The flames kept on burning, inching into my flesh layer by layer. First the skin, then the flesh and finally even my blood. I could feel the blood in my veins boiling up. As that fierce fire peeled off my flesh, a stream of blood puffed out of my veins. It moved on making it's way through my molten flesh. And finally it reached the tip of my finger and dripped down on the floor drop by drop. A pool of black burnt blood started to take shape on the floor with every dripping drop. A wave of intolerable pain kept spreading through out my body with every vein puffing out. And with each wave the thundering feeling of cry of pain grew stronger in me. The flames kept picking height using my body as fuel, until they reached the ceiling. They spread in all directions as if to engulf everything in their path.

But for a body it was too much... it had already crossed limits.

I had to give it up.

I pressed down every muscle in my body and released that thundering cry. Pushing open the door i ran out. The flames following me... waving behind me as my clothes would do. But they were far too uncomfortable to be clothes. I ran past the beautiful roses in my garden and took a plunge into the pool. A sound of quenching thirst followed me as burning body kissed the water.

The cold water filled my battered flesh as i fell to the bottom of the pool. I lay silent in the water for a second. Thousand of thoughts kept rushing through my mind, images of that being together, interlocked lips, her irresistible smile, aahhhhhhh. It hurt.

A sudden voice within alarmed me ... i gasped for air. I kicked off the bottom of the pool and rose to the surface. Dragging myself gently i reached to edge of the pool and climbed out of water. Standing there i ran my eyes through my body with that pain still lingering through out... it was left torn, shattered, burned and bleeding.

"Hope this fire has only ripped apart my body... and not touched down to my heart.", i said to myself.

Whatever it may be, one thing is for sure...

all my life i will carry with me these ..."Carvings of the past"

If you were the truth

If you were the truth, and i was the lie;

if i was the darkness and you were light...

I would have no sorrow at all, because without you i would never exist.

And even today is so...

I walk a shadow and you are light,

i am all beautiful an eye without sight.

I don't know who i am until you are beside me,

a heart without emotions, i am without thee.

Burning up myself i discover you;

each day i study you are something new.

How come i tell myself, that you are only a dream,

Nothing like you exists as reality that you seem.

If you were the truth... and i were the lie.